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[personal profile] doktorfaustus
 Love Poems for the Chronically Evil
Heroines aren't always girls, milk is a nourishing beverage for baby cows, avocados are birds of prey, burning things down is illegal, Fedotov Stockwell is a jerk, and other things Konev Helevitius is probably wrong about.


Loneliness is a lot like getting in a car.
You get in, thinking someone is going to be there to drive the car, and you fall asleep thinking you're safe, but a few hours in you wake up and look over and realise there is no-one else in the car. It's scary at first. You try to get out. You pound on the windows and scream at the people you go by, hoping someone will notice, but no-one does, and if they do they just smile and wave and maybe yell "Hi!" before going about their business. 
Then you start seeing signs.
"Road ends!"
"Cliff ahead!"
You think the car will slow down and stop as you near the edge of the cliff but it never does. It keeps going but by this point you've already adjusted to your situation and the next thing you know you're tumbling over the edge of a cliff going ninety miles an hour and there's nothing to stop you from hitting the bottom except a few branches here and there, but they only hold for a few seconds. They always snap and send you plunging back down into darkness and just when you think it will never end, the car hits the bottom of the cliff with a bang, rolls a few times, and you greet death like a friend.
Loneliness isn't this fictionalised idea stemmed from bullying or abuse or constantly being left out. It can be, sometimes, but loneliness is usually caused by being isolated in your own mind and watching the world go by while knowing you are alone not because everyone hates you but because no-one else is in your mind.
And it's a lot like getting in a car.


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Doktor Faustus

June 2014

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